A lot has happened in the past few days! On my 700th day of ACL recovery, I bucked tradition and didn't do a special outdoor activity. Instead I treated myself to frozen yogurt. I had a hand doctor appointment that day. It looks like surgery is the only way to get this ligament tear fixed. The conservative brace method didn't work, he said I would surely know if it did. Next up is getting an MRI. It's already been approved by insurance, just waiting to get a call from the MRI place to schedule it.
What was a HUGE freak out just a few weeks ago, is a better now. You can say that I am nervous about surgeries (after my knee surgery outcome being less than desirable at day 708). I did a bunch of mind prep to help me face this next challenge: podcasts (I put my faves all into one document that I can access frequently), I signed up for a Positive Psychology: Resilience Skills online course (FREE), watched a bunch of videos on facing adversity, why we need adversity in our lives. Calling it a challenge rather then a set back is a good way to improve the mindset. I Skyped with my DPT and she didn't feel that my existing persistent pain is really an overactive nervous system and suggested to go ahead with the surgery if that is what is recommended. if I do have post surgery wrist pain, I have a great list of tools to help me deal with the pain. She said it was awful luck for me, but I am entitled to have a cry fest about it all, then pick myself back up. She said not to worry if it puts a damper on my rehab, we have a modification for every one of those moves. I am worried about the sweat factor with a cast on too. I told my DPT I was getting my brain ready for another year of rehab weights because I know I still have a ways to go. She said at some point this year we will transition me into performance of my sports. All this hard work means nothing if it doesn't get you back to what you love. Pain is going to come along for the ride, but we use our toolkit for the pain. What the what??!???! Yeah I don't feel ready pain wise. I also asked her about BPTB (bone-patellar tendon-bone) autograft pain complications. It is well documented the BPTB graft is the most painful one due to harvest site morbidity and where it's located on the body. I wanted to know of those that experience pain years after, are they all just not adapting their tissues? Do they all have patellofemoral pain (PFPS)? Or is there a harvest site morbidity pain that is separate from PFPS? It was a loaded question. Basically, there are both types of pain: 1) palpate the knee and there is diffuse/dispersed pain usually more PFPS in nature, 2) then there is histological change at the tendon like after BPTB harvesting. Not all MRI changes are pain that is felt either. If it's subpar tendon adaptation or PFPS, this does take a long time to change. So both kind of. I did something new this weekend - well two new things! I went to our local ski resort to tailgate. I haven't been in the presence of skiing in 2 years. While I'm not yearning to ski - actually I would give it up forever if someone could make me pain free from here on out - I was mostly worried about comments. Comments like, "2 years and you're still not skiing? Most people heal by now." Or "I have pain all the time, I just live with it and I don't let it stop me!" OK, maybe we have different pain then! I even had a text from a good friend who said it was hard to put herself in my shoes because she some kind of pain daily and a high pain tolerance, and just takes ibuprofen for it. That kind of comment does make me feel fragile and I didn't take it well. I shed some tears, and decided I just need to go face it all and get it out of the way. Now it seems less monumental. Yes, we are all different. After the tailgating, I tried out the fat bike for the first time ever. A fat bike is a mountain bike but with super wide tires/rims. These tires are 4.5 inches wide. When set to a super low psi (1-5 psi) you can ride over firm snow without sinking. I was in a wrist brace when we got the bike so this was my chance to try it! Wrist brace actually made my wrist feel more painful, maybe due to the deconditioning. I biked for about a hour up a snowy snowmobile carved road. It felt good, better than walking, but definitely a harder work out. More sweating, figuring out layers is hard, you are still cold on the downhill part, BUT less discomfort on the knee during activity. I did two rides total over the weekend. Due to the strenuous effort, my knee did swell up a bit. I usually don't or cannot exert myself that much on my own feet at the gym. I ended up dong an ice compression with a bandage and flexible ice packs. I want to do it again next weekend (get it all in before surgery), but it does really make the wrist hurt for the rest of the day. I put it back in the brace just so I don't accidentally bump it! Photo from my first fat bike ride.
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AuthorA 45 year old active female who tore her ACL in January 2017 (at the age of 40). Reconstructive surgery in February 2017 with bone-patellar tendon-bone autograft. Archives
November 2022
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