The ACL Club is a great online resource for people going through the ACL recovery journey. They have blog posts, podcasts with other ACL members, videos, an Instagram page and more. It's unique in that it deals with the emotional and mental challenges of this journey. Jordan Angeli is a former professional soccer player who tore her ACL three times and decided to start this online club as a resource for others. It's been the most helpful of all the ACL support info that I've come across.
"Show Your Scars" is the motto which means share your story, own your story, it is unique to you, use your experience to come out stronger emotionally, mentally and physically on the other side. Don't be ashamed of the scar. I listen and re-listen to the podcasts often. The stories about folks bounding back after 3 months, I tend to skip those or listen to them when I'm in a better mindset. Some are pretty motivational like talking about depression, how to get out of the funk, how to make the most of this recovery time, how not to compare your journey to others. I especially like the podcast about Snez the soccer player who tore hers twice, but each with drastically different mindsets. Attitude is very important! As someone who doesn't have many people in real life talk about the struggles, I'm really glad it's out there! Website: https://www.theaclclub.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theaclclub/ Podcasts: https://soundcloud.com/showyourscars
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Phew!! Finally I am at the tail end of a very painful, week long flare up. The patellar tendonitis flare up was severe on Saturday/Sunday, then slowly eased up. For a couple days I did just a partial rehab workout with slow biking if I could do it.
This morning - one week after the incident - I was able to complete all of my rehab exercises! I am a little tender still, but very glad I was able to do my exercises. Not to mention wearing normal pants too. Wow, what a difference in your mental state and attitude when you are able to perform exercises. Here is what I did at 8.5 months post op:
Rising out of a chair with two normal feet seems so simple but it was near impossible until recently. I guess that's progress? Here is the Bosu ball that I purchased on eBay for $37 including shipping! I don't use the resistance bands. If you look up #bosuball on Instagram there are a ton of ideas. I have plans to use this througout rehab. Winter is coming and that means I won't be skiing, but everyone around me will be! I can't really share in others' excitement when talking about skiing right now, so I need ways to deal with it. I'm already starting to plan some things to keep me occupied this winter.
So far I have:
Hmm, probably need to get a few more ideas. It would be great if by March I could cross country ski. I know I can't really control this, but that is 6 months to let the pain go down and do my exercises with hopefully some progress. If the pain doesn't change much, then my exercises won't be good enough to build muscle. I am still limping and hurting from trying out those Bosu ball stepovers from Friday (good god!), but there is a slight improvement with each day. Not quite ready to resume my last good workout. I don't want to set it off again.
I was thinking about what happened, why did something so simple set me back and leave me in so much pain. At first I get in such a funk when the pain is so disabling. I'm unable to see the forest through the trees. I can't focus on anything positive. However, Bosu ball step overs are essentially like step downs off a bench or block. If you see how long I've consistently been doing my exercises, it's really only 6 weeks (minus that week of vacation so like 5 weeks). I think I had it in my head that I'm 8+ months along and did the same move for 4 weeks - I should be able to move on! But there was very little strength training going on months 3-6 (with the light conditioning, then full rest), I actually have NOT been working out for that long. Step downs got me before in the past. I probably shouldn't try them for several months again. Alright, feeling a tad better emotionally. I don't feel so doom and gloom right now! I was able to bike 10 minutes in the morning and evening VERY slowly and no resistance yesterday, then 10 minutes this morning too. Even then I worry if that will biking set off the knee, but some movement has to be better than no movement? I also rolled my knee back and forth on a Swiss ball while lying on the ground, to passively move the knee. It sure is quite stiff and swollen in there. Bending actively still hurts. Below is a quote that works for me. It came from The ACL Club's Instagram page. Yeah, hopefully this will be a chapter that I can just look back on sometime in the future! Do you have a slow ACL story too? People who have had ACL reconstruction probably heard things along the lines of, "Keep pushing, you will get there!" or "It's hard work, but it will pay off" or "Keep it up no matter how hard it is!" I picture people doing exercises that require grunting, sweating, determination.
I cannot stand these phrases! All my exercises are super easy right now. I can't do any hard exercises because
If I were to complete regular squats for example, my knee would blow up, my day is ruined, I can't get anything done because I'm laid up on the couch, I may even be back on a crutch due to the pain. The following few days (or even a week) are probably ruined too because it would take a while for that knee to calm down (PS I'm allergic to all NSAIDs). Hell, trying a new exercise can even produce similar results. My knee is like a finicky bomb. A move will set it off - stiff, swollen, painful, limping, hot, tender. It's like a fine line as to what I am capable of doing in daily life or in my at home exercises. Someone asked me what if you just push through the pain? Whatever state my body is in now - it's just not going to work. I try to tell myself one day I will be able to really do hard work like box jumps and one legged pistol squats and sprint running - so for now, just try to enjoy the slow pace before it's all hectic. I am not working with a physical therapist at the moment. That ended around week 13/90+ days. For the last 6 weeks (I took one week off due to vacation), I have been doing my own home programming aiming to be very consistent and adding changes slowly.
Before my own programming and after my time of full rest around months 3-4 read about that in Background, the physical therapist and surgeon suggested that I "do whatever doesn't hurt right now and don't worry about coming to rehab." This lead to me trying a lot of different things mainly Pilates/Yoga stuff (YouTube'd Yoga and Pilates for bad knees and for a lot of ideas). After all Pilates is built around rehabbing an injury. Some moves I could do, but wondered if they were doing anything because they were so easy; sometimes the pain didn't start until after I stopped; other times it was a big NOPE "I can't do it." The pain would leave me on the couch for a few days, unable to do much. Feeling very frustrated, depressed and sore all the time not really knowing which exercise was setting it off, I decided to be consistent and methodical. Time to get a game plan! That was 6 weeks ago. I keep a spreadsheet of my exercises. I do the exercises 6-7 days a week (they aren't intensive enough to need a break). Every week I see if I can add something new or make a small modification to a move to build on. If that doesn't work and pain tells me it's too soon, then I repeat the week. Yesterday, I tried two things! One was to modify my Bosu Ball Step Ups. For the past 4 weeks, I was stepping up forward and then back down the way I came up using the operative leg. Three sets of 10. The modification I tried is stepping up on the Bosu Ball and then back down the other side, kind of like if you were walking on a trail and stepped on to a log and then over it. A very normal/natural move! Well, that puts a lot of pressure on the front of the patellar tendon harvest site area when you do the lower part of the move (when the knee goes over the toe). It wasn't crazy for me to try this, I figured it was time to try because I've been doing plain old step ups for 4 weeks, not to mention mini squat stuff. The other thing I tried was this little Pilates plank series I found on Instagram. Formerly I was not able to plank at all on the operative leg, but I could this time although it was challenging. I The rest of that day I was pretty sore, wore stretchy pants to work, and now 24 hours later, I am more tender and limping wondering if I'm going to be able to do any of the things I had planned today. The pain affects all aspects of everyday life. So I'm not quite sure if one or the other move did me in, I should have tried just one new thing so I could isolate it. I will repeat week 6 moves for week 7. I considered totally resting today, but talked myself into at least doing some Pilates core work, hip exercises and arm exercises none of which involved standing or really bending the operative leg. I did do the stationary bike for 9 minutes (no resistance and slowly). I used my TENS STIM unit and that actually helped with some knee pain so that I was able to move around more by the end of the day. This is just so exhausting to have to deal with all the time!! Why am I not in physical therapy? I fell off the rehab protocol wagon months ago. My physical therapist said that I know best what I can and cannot do right now, and he doesn't want to charge me for doing simple leg lifts at the clinic. Basically the moves are so easy right now, that I should be able to make up my own programming and progress when I am ready. Yes, I have considered using a PT who specializes in managing pain but she is 90 miles away. It's maddening when you try to advance and it backfires. But if I think really hard about it, there are a couple things I can do now that I couldn't before.
"Are you getting ANY better?" "So you need another surgery, right?" These are the two most asked questions I hear when someone sees me still limping or walking gingerly down the hallway. Of course something LOOKS wrong with me, after all it's been 8+ months since surgery and I am far from normal. Most people know I was a very active outdoor person before this. Well, the GOOD news is that nothing is actually wrong. I don't have any complications (thankfully!) like tendon rupture, ossification, calcification, tendon shortening, loose screws, etc. My MRI and Xrays all look as they should (although my bone plugs are a little on the large side). I have full range of motion. With the Bone-Patellar Bone graft, post surgery anterior knee pain is actually so common that it's not even considered a complication. Well maybe if it is severe enough to affect your everyday living. My harvest site pain affects my everyday life so in that sense it is kind of a complication; whether it's standing to cook a meal that takes longer than 20 minutes, lifting something heavy, going down the stairs, standing to talk to someone in the hallway. However, there is not much we can do except give it more time. Time to heal. Studies I've read said it can take a full year to heal at the harvest site. I rarely take any medications for it though. It's about a 4 on the scale out of 10 on a daily basis when it's not flared up. If I had to quantify it, I think I'm only 35% of normal right now at day 248 (8+ months). I can walk and drive (VERY thankful I am independent at least!), but still far from doing normal things in everyday life let alone my outdoor pursuits I once did, nor am I pain free. My rehab has back pedaled immensely. It all fell apart at week 13, and now I'm at week 35 doing the exercises ACL patients typically did at week 6 (not counting patients with meniscus work). It's a DAILY - scratch that - HOURLY struggle to keep spirits up. My worst fear is the I will be in pain forever, or at least for years and I won't be able to do anything I did before because of constant pain. It is a very real fear and only time will tell. Check out my MRI and Xrays. Note the chunk out of the shin, a similar chunk of bone is out of the knee cap too. a slow acl recovery
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AuthorA 45 year old active female who tore her ACL in January 2017 (at the age of 40). Reconstructive surgery in February 2017 with bone-patellar tendon-bone autograft. Archives
November 2022
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