Alright, going on day 13 of this stupid flare up. Pain is really hurting the mental game! I was doing so well mentally before this!
The pain gives me anxiety as well before going to the gym for rehab session (or just plain old planning out my day!). DPT's suggestion was to not stop going to the gym (as in don't rest fully), but to scale back the weights and the range of motion so that it doesn't hurt. Keep going all out on the good leg. Is going to the gym going to set off more pain and ruin my day or not? Should I go later in the day in case I ruin my day? How much should I lower my weights? Should I rest another day? I wasn't up for standing to cook dinner on Thursday, so we ordered pizza. The pain was enough to derail my plans on Sunday. Saturday, I did rehab in the morning with very low weights. Made it through the workout (slight kneecap twinge on the leg press though), felt OK enough to go to a party where I stood around a while, then afterwards did a very slow 3 mile hike which probably all set me off for Sunday. I was pretty sore and slow getting to the truck. Sunday, I had another party and had very high hopes of getting out on my mountain bike (did not ride our local trails all of 2017, but I did 5 rides in all since recovery on vacation). Alas the pain put an end to my plans. Instead I sat and folded laundry and sat in the garden and put leaves in a bucket for some fresh air. I was completely heartbroken that I hurt too much to even go for a short walk. I was in such a funk Sunday, really heard to get out of it. It was like what is the point of having any goals or plans with this stupid knee! This lead me to think of ways to prevent this heartbroken-ness when pain takes over my plans. Maybe I just need to NOT plan things AT ALL for now. Really, just day by day. Biking was on the brain for a few days, and I was getting really excited for it. Probably just thought about it too much. I spent the day (and days prior) giving myself pep talks. This is an hourly battle in my head people! Some tricks I use:
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AuthorA 45 year old active female who tore her ACL in January 2017 (at the age of 40). Reconstructive surgery in February 2017 with bone-patellar tendon-bone autograft. Archives
November 2022
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